Sunday, December 18, 2011

Early Rising Thoughts

I awakened early today.  I don't like to do that on Sunday--3:30's a bit early when I have to be at church from 6:30 to 12:00 something.  Still dealing with the pain of loss, crying, remembering and Christmastime doesn't help that.  Trying to think of a way to hold her memory--personalized Christmas cards for the family--don't want to be morbid--more joyful and hope-filled would be good.  Keeping this week for present wrapping, last minute shopping ideas and baking.  Family together, maybe not all at once but hopefully we'll see them all sometime during next week.  Will spend time with Bill's family Christmas day and my sister and her family mid-week, yes long trip but it's been a while since we traveled there--too long.  Hope to take care of my side for a change.  Death brings things into perspective.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Grief Is Debilitating

It's a good thing for Sunday for without direction, I'm a wandering child.
Monday I actually felt like creating something and made a pair of earrings for M--her birthday.   I couldn't remember how to make the feather earrings I wanted to make, though I tried four times, I just couldn't do it.  Creativity?--on hold.  I got ready to pick up M, went to lunch, shopped where she wanted and it turned out to be kind of fun, actually made supper and watched tv with Bill.

Tuesday, tried again with the earrings, no luck.  Made soup for D--brain surgery two weeks ago.  Took it to her, stayed a while, she's doing well, went home and found my tv, pleasantly zoned--tried to make myself feel justified, took auction stuff to auctioneers, soup supper and tv with Bill.

Wed. turned out to be the epiphany day.  I figured out how to make the earrings, made seven pair and two pair of fingerless gloves, took five pair of earrings and the gloves to S'More Couture, picked up my long-lost dress form and was commissioned to do about 10-12 flowers for A's client.  I went to GFS for food for church that night, prepared meal with MD, rehearsed at 6 and 7, tv with Bill.

Thurs. Not too disiplined today, feel tired, dusted LR furniture, cleaned bathroom, cleaned microwave, swept floors, updated blog, made myself a pair of earrings.  Now I want to eat lunch and finish a long-pending quilt for one of my grandchildren.  Maybe I'll feel I've accomplished something.  I'm keeping on keeping on.