Early Rising Thoughts

I awakened early today.  I don't like to do that on Sunday--3:30's a bit early when I have to be at church from 6:30 to 12:00 something.  Still dealing with the pain of loss, crying, remembering and Christmastime doesn't help that.  Trying to think of a way to hold her memory--personalized Christmas cards for the family--don't want to be morbid--more joyful and hope-filled would be good.  Keeping this week for present wrapping, last minute shopping ideas and baking.  Family together, maybe not all at once but hopefully we'll see them all sometime during next week.  Will spend time with Bill's family Christmas day and my sister and her family mid-week, yes long trip but it's been a while since we traveled there--too long.  Hope to take care of my side for a change.  Death brings things into perspective.

Grief Is Debilitating

It's a good thing for Sunday for without direction, I'm a wandering child.
Monday I actually felt like creating something and made a pair of earrings for M--her birthday.   I couldn't remember how to make the feather earrings I wanted to make, though I tried four times, I just couldn't do it.  Creativity?--on hold.  I got ready to pick up M, went to lunch, shopped where she wanted and it turned out to be kind of fun, actually made supper and watched tv with Bill.

Tuesday, tried again with the earrings, no luck.  Made soup for D--brain surgery two weeks ago.  Took it to her, stayed a while, she's doing well, went home and found my tv, pleasantly zoned--tried to make myself feel justified, took auction stuff to auctioneers, soup supper and tv with Bill.

Wed. turned out to be the epiphany day.  I figured out how to make the earrings, made seven pair and two pair of fingerless gloves, took five pair of earrings and the gloves to S'More Couture, picked up my long-lost dress form and was commissioned to do about 10-12 flowers for A's client.  I went to GFS for food for church that night, prepared meal with MD, rehearsed at 6 and 7, tv with Bill.

Thurs. Not too disiplined today, feel tired, dusted LR furniture, cleaned bathroom, cleaned microwave, swept floors, updated blog, made myself a pair of earrings.  Now I want to eat lunch and finish a long-pending quilt for one of my grandchildren.  Maybe I'll feel I've accomplished something.  I'm keeping on keeping on.

Grueling Week

That's the best way to describe last week.  I got to NC on Monday afternoon.  Her husband had decided to donate her kidneys so we waited another four hours before removing life support--it was to that point and everyone was ready to let her go.  They gathered the doctors, the OR and the staff necessary in that four hours, removed the tubes, stopped the pacemaker.  She acted as if she was having another cardiac arrest, as described by my niece who was with her when the initial one happened, they administered morphine and she calmed down.  We waited...and waited...and waited.  One hour approached, passed and it was too late to use her kidneys because the oxygen levels were too low.  We waited another 28 hours until she left the confines of this world to enter the glories of heaven.  We all were so relieved for her.  Though sad, it was a blessing.  Her funeral was a tribute to a lovely, intelligent, faithful lady.  I'll miss her.  Even though we didn't see each other very much, we connected on face book, phone and by email.  Her daughter says this will change her lifestyle.  I'll be checking on that one and her brother.  Though they knew of their mother's faith, they did not live it themselves.  I do hope things will change for them and her husband.  "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes."  I'm banking on that scripture!

In A Daze

I'm glad God is in control because I'm not.  I'm living life, doing the basics, getting ready for Bill to leave and for me to leave the next day.  Things are not going well with my sister and decisions will have to be made for her future--whatever that may be.  Prayers offered are welcomed.

Swirling--

and not the dance kind of swirling.  I so wanted to go see my sister today after her having had another cardiac arrest last Saturday.  Cost of airfare was too much for me--twice that of the ticket I purchased for my trip next week.  I chose not to cough it up, maybe the wrong decision.  My other sister has been the rock--again--and has been our strength in our family trouble times.  She took care of Mom and Dad while I sat back this long distance away wishing I were there to help.  It seems distance has always been the barrier.  It's been two years since I've even seen my sisters.  We connected over the past year on facebook, shared pictures and messages.  It was good
 She was about to retire from teaching--next year.  It has been "next year" for about three years now.  She won't have a choice now, if she makes it to retirement.  It's notable that God seems to bring things to a halt, make us take a good look at our lives and realize how negligent we've been with our loved ones.  Why does it take a tragedy to do this?  I don't like to talk on the phone and I'm super bad about not communicating with another, even my family.  My daughter is the one to whom I go every day (besides God) and it's mainly because she contacts me.  I'm happy with my hole in the wall doing my little "ministry things," such as they are.
Another thing I noticed about this happening in our family now--Bill's going to Senegal next week.  Why do the bad things happen the few weeks before such commiting trips?  The evil one has his hand in everything good and tries to stir up our faith.  He succeeds more than I'd like to admit.  I was expecting some warfare but nothing like this.  I was alerted to it during my Bible reading sessions and sermons from speakers and my pastor.  Everytime someone uses Psalm 23 in their messages, I take notice.  Last year about this time, Bill was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  I was actually getting bored with the number of times that scripture was being used--Tricia's Bible study, Joel's sermon, a visiting pastor's sermon, my daily email devotion(s)--and all during a two-week period.  This year was the same--and this happened. 
I am grateful to be here, though, and able to help my friend this week by taking her to therapy sessions.  I had committed this month to her and I've already had to break my commitment by making plans for next week.  She has many friends who can help but some of them are physically down now, too.  More church members are sick and I go back to the stirring of the "evil pot."  I just will not let him get me down.  My trust is in the Lord God Almighty.  He's the one who can make everything right.
I was so glad to see you, T, at church yesterday.  Your hug made my day.  Hearing and seeing A's new baby helped a lot, too.  Though it was difficult keeping my mind focused, I enjoyed the sermon and the music, plus we had two baptisms.  And I think I have it bad--one of those has to go back to Uganda and face her M husband and family.  Everything in perspective, I guess.  Spouting is over.  Working has come.  "Keep on keeping on" is the mantra for the day.  "Prayers and Thanksgiving"-- the order of the day.  Amen.

Pressure

Emotions are on the rise.  Friends and demands on my life are taking its toll.  Whenever I'm stressed, I spout.  Oh, I wish I wouldn't take things out on my DH--and I mean that d in the dearest sense.  He's had to bear the Wrath of Sally all these years, poor man.  I many times I don't solve the root of the problem, as my daily devotional pointed out today, and I wallow in uncertainties until I'm over the breaking point.  I must clear up a few pressure points so I can deal with the "real" pressures of life that are out of my control.  Fortunately they are not physically threatening and easily contained if I've given myself space to deal.  As a matter of fact, I'm looking forward to stress #1 and just need some time.

Needing Advice

"A" at the shop has accepted clothing from a new "seamstress."  She's awful.  I'm a self-taught seamstress and don't know the fine points of alteration but I'm a far cry better than the other one.  I'm really not jealous, I don't think, but I do want to tell A that she is greatly lowering her standards by having that stuff in the shop.  A seems oblivious to that fact that the other girl is so bad.  She says the girl is really nice, sweet, etc. and that she is thinking about possibly sharing the expenditures of the shop and relocating.  Maybe that's why she's accepting her clothes--probably.  She won't get customers, at least not the ones she's had before if that poor a quality of clothing is there.  Should I tell A what I think?  Should I just leave it alone because she will probably have to close soon anyway?  Should I stay with her and be associated with extra poor quality?  Should I just wait it out?  What do you think, T?--Hope you are much better today, T.

There's Got To Be Another Way

We went to the H2O revival last night--all 200 of us Christians.  There was an altar call--of sorts--and a few people responded and that's good.  He preached a heart-wrenching, emotion-driven sermon, though it was all over the place but basically about how we need to face our "demons" and get our lives in line with God's will for us. I'd say 60% of the people there were over 50 so he was preaching to the "saints."   He'd said he had ADHD and from his preaching, he was right.  He was all over the place--a sermon that could have been preached in 20 min that took him 1 1/2 hours.  Not looking forward to tonight.
Going to Irma's auction today--4:00-6:00, yes, 2 hours only.  We're going to help about 11:30 to set out the stuff.  H is in the hospital, doing better, but not enough to help. J, D and C will be there setting up and fixing lunch.  I'm thinking of staying for it and helping afterward.  They'll need extra help and maybe I won't have to go tonight to H20.  D and C could bring me home.  Just thinking.  Hate to leave Bill with it, but he volunteered to be a counselor so he has to go.
The ones for whom I've been praying in J's Operation Andrew prayers on Sunday are all young girls--I'm going to approach them one-on-one about becoming a Christian.  I think that's "another way."  There's no way a non-Christian would sit through a service like last night's, especially a child--he was pretty graphic in his description of his life before committing to Christ.  I'm so critical--It was not well-organized--just another MPBA event to put the faithful to the test, I guess.
Bill's getting a follow-up blood test today.  We're hoping all is well.

So Much Better

Things are so much better today.  The rain is gone, the sun is out and I'm wanting to create.  I even finished a dress (see it at  http://sallylsmith.blogspot.com/).  I'm so sad for my friend in the hospital, though.  It will be a long time for this friend to be right again-lots of prayers going their way today.

Down But Not Out

It's been a down day today and this afternoon hasn't proved any different from the rest of the day.  My mood is the same level as the barometric pressure--rain today.  The fact is, I've been giving so much lately that I'm all "gived-out."  I needed a day to do nothing, which I've had, but I feel guilty.  Now, what gives with that?  I feel I deserve a day off but since I really have "no job," I feel I still must do some work.  So...I put dishes in the dishwasher, put a roast in the crock pot, folded clothes, tried to do something creative (no such luck), cleaned out a filing cabinet drawer, made the bed, made lunch, washed some "creatin' fabric"--so after typing all that, I guess I really didn't to "nothing."  The afternoon's a downer because one of our church people tried to commit suicide and Bill, after just walking in the door, changing clothes and heading for his workshop, was sent to check things out.  Not only that, I was hoping we'd get to go to the show this evening--just the two of us, like a date or something.  But no.  Duty calls.  Sometimes I hate being a pastor's wife.  And...I'm angry instead of concerned about the person who is lying in the hospital.  They shouldn't have done that to themselves.  Now I really feel guilty.

Looking for Calm

Two funerals within a week has taken its toll on Bill and me.  We both need down time but the calls keep coming for Bill.  There's always a crisis with someone in a congregation of about 400--yes, that many.  Though only about half attend, Bill's on call for the whole 400 and some days it seems he gets that many calls.  He's meeting another crisis this morning and I'm getting ready, well, will be, to meet my cancer survivor friend.  It's always good to see her but I feel drained afterward.  I'm comfortable just being at home by myself but I feel compelled to reach out.  Hopefully, Bill and I will have a couple of days off tomorrow and Sat. without interruption.  Though the interruptions are just that, Bill thrives on being wanted.  Usually, if I'm left alone, I'm just fine.

A Weekend to Crash

Boy, the last two weeks have been stressful what with R's hospitalization, his being in hospice and brought home to die, his death last Sunday, getting M around while L went home to pick up family, visitation at funeral home, funeral and dinner (yes, even dinner was stressful.)  Bill and I have basically collapsed today.  I tried to work on another make-over skirt but I don't have the stick-with-it today.  I've culled old emails in my files, looked at blogs, magazines and cleaned some clutter today.  It's been nice.  I've got to contact my cancer-survivor friend to make plans for lunch for next week but have since found out Bill's aunt died and he's to do the funeral on Tues. morning which means a trip to St. Louis on Mon. afternoon late and then all day in St. Louis and back.  Yippee.  Life goes on at the Smith house.  Good thing for today.

Gone

R's gone to heaven.  M's exhausted, sad and overwhelmed.  It's been a very long two weeks for her--really two years.  The disease has gradually pulled him down and it's finally over.  The funeral should be on Friday and they are expecting all of their family. L's going home to wait for his wife, daughter and new grandbaby (if the pediatrician says ok.)  I'm waiting to see if she will need me to help her in the next couple of days to get ready for them.  She and L have a long day today planning the funeral and she will be alone on, probably, Tues and Wed--maybe most of Thurs, too.  Since Bill's illness at the first of the year, I'm more in tune with the possiblity of that kind of loneliness.  Though Bill's back to "normal" now, I'm not fearing his death, just realizing that life is so short and unpredictable.  But...life goes on so, "Bye for now."

Been Busy

M has needed me this week. (Thank you, Lord, that I've been able to rest up from our vacation.)  Things are not looking good for R.  I created three dresses for the shop on Monday  (not looking good there either), made supper for church, lunch for M, visited with M many times this week, shopped for felt and hand-dyed it to enhance the colors.  I'm making Fall Flowers to put in Relics.  It feels good to create after four days.  Off to bake bread to take to M--flowers come later.

Home!

We're finally home after a 10-day vacation to see kids and grands.  Very fun.  Very tired.  Today we have a 9 o'clock joint brunch and worship session where we'll hear stories of some of the mission trips taken this summer.  Speedy Gonzales hit the floor running today, anticipating the "big day."  I, on the other hand, was awakened at 6:15 with SG saying, "Come on.  I want to be there at 7:30 'cause J will be there then." 
"Huh, what time is it?" Short time of pulling myself out of bed.  Thinking.  Saying, "Is there any reason why I have to be there at 7:30?"
"Oh, well, I guess not.  I just thought we'd go together."
Thinking.
"I'll be there later then." Begging off.  Wishing for an easing back into our crazy lives. Guilty because I probably could help some people there but I really don't want to.  Not SG.  Jump into anything with dress shirt and khakis.  Life is good......wish I shared his enthusiasm today.  Nope.  I'll be there later.  I'll help clean up.  Will that satisfy God today?  I hope so.
He left at 7:00.  Rarin' to go.  Ummph galore!
Whew! 
Gonna do some easing.

Short Week

I have three days to help M, buy 3 birthday partys' stuff, finished a batch of headbands, finish a hair clip for my AL granddaughter, gather scrapbooking material and fun stuff from my stash for my grandkids, and get ready for our visit with them.  I love visiting and seeing them since we only get to twice a year.  We hardly know them so it's good to catch up.
The squirrels have been and are eating our corn as I write so we won't have any for the kids.  Our garden is sad because of the drought lately and the squirrels obviously cannot find anything to eat and fresh corn is way better than dried seeds.  Just ask them. 
Yesterday's rain was nice, though.  I'm hoping for more but my desire is mixed because of Hope Builders this week.  I don't want their work to stop because of bad weather.
I need to go exercise, get my day on the way.  I'll be hearing from M soon to plan my day around her.  I have a dentist cleaning this afternoon so we're planning around that as well.  I know how to have fun!

Creating Again

I've had the time to create even though I spent time with a friend yesterday.  We hadn't seen each other for about a month.  She is a 4-year cancer survivor, had stage 4 breast cancer, had reconstruction surgery, more tumors in her brain, had radiation, whole-brain radiation, a multitude of drugs and is still kicking.  Her energy is low but she is still able to do housework, shop, eat (sometimes it doesn't taste good or the texture is wierd--she says) and visit with me and her other friends but she is not able to drive and this is where we, her friends, come in.  Her husband is very supportive and I commend him on that.  So many spouses give up because of the constant turmoil but he's hung in there.
The supper Thurs night turned out well.  Bill smoked meat and made ice cream.  I pulled out some leftover salads and watermelon from Wed night and made corn and baked beans.  Someone brought a pie and I had some oreos and a few leftover cookies.  They seemed to enjoy the food and we had a good time visiting.  I'm so NOT a hospitality lady but every once in a while I can turn to.
Two necklaces sold at Relics and she liked the flowers I'd made from her prototypes.  I love figuring out how to make something and have it actually turn out.  She asked me to make more in fall colors so I cut some out yesterday afternoon and will sew them up today.  She had sold two of the four necklaces I took last Friday and has only four headbands left.  I'm pleased that the things are selling.
It's nip and tuck at SC though.  I don't know about a future there yet.  "To be continued" on that one.
I'm back to making scripture books, little notebooks for the purse or pocket.  Most of my previous mixed media works were inspired by scripture and I've been thinking I need to get back to that.  God's word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11).  I stand on that premise.

Early Morning

Up at 4 am!  Bill with crazy notion to wash cars for World Changer people.  Great idea but why you and not a group?  on your day off?  at 4 am?  I'm wondering about that man.

Can't get back to sleep and I really needed the rest, so did he.  Having 7 people over for supper, need to clean my house after having picked up yesterday morning (with supper service and two practices and more clean up after rehearsals yesterday as well)  Spouses (mostly guys who won't or don't cook for themselves) from Mission Serve

Bill will be moving a refridge to our house at 10, having gone to Toulon to get it.  At least J is helping him.
He said he'd smoke the meat for the supper, something I don't do.  He is gungho for having the people over but neither of us will be able to communicate with them by this evening.  What are we thinking?!!!  Nice only goes as far as logic will let it.

Might as well shop early this morning before most of the heat.  Off to do a shopping list.  What fun!  It actually was going to be fun if we had a good night's sleep.  Onward and Upward on a great day off.

So Hot

The best place to be is inside today but that's not what happened.  Tomorrow evening I'm cooking for Wed. supper at church and it's Hot Dog Your Way night. (Wish I'd put it in the bulletin like that--Coney, cheesy, chili or corn is how it appeared.) So today I shopped.  I started at Aldi, never shopped there before but I hear you get good bargains.  I had my cart loaded, swiped my card and found out that they don't take credit--just debit or cash.  Good time to find out, right?  No need being mad but I was mad at myself for assuming.  "Who doesn't take credit these days?" one would ask.  I just parked my cart, said I'll be right back, went home (about 5 min. away), got cash (just happened to have some), went back and they had already begun putting my cold stuff away.  I wasn't gone 10 min. but they felt they had to replace it in the coolers and they were probably right but I still was delayed trying to sort out what they had put away, someone else's stuff that was put in my cart and what I had already paid for that I had left there as well.  Fortunately, the girl who checked me out remembered me and we worked it out.  Fun in the sun and on to the church.  I called on the way for Bill to help me and got his answering machine.  So...I unloaded the trunk myself after having looked for a cart to load, one sack, two, sacks, three sacks, one watermelon--"Oh, do you need help?" said the kid on the couch (three of the five left after seeing me enter with the first sack).  "Sure, grab a watermelon out of the trunk."  So I did get help with two watermelons.  Better than nothing.

Not all--Went to Amy's before shopping to take a dress and other stuff I had made.  I had called this morning to be sure she would be there and that I would get there before 12:00.  I got there about 10 til 12:00 and she had gone to take her son somewhere.  There was no note on the door--just a closed sign.  I thought maybe something disasterous had happened, but no, just had to take him somewhere.  So...after having to go to GFS because they didn't have everything I needed at Aldi's and taking the frozen stuff back home to freeze--then I went to Amy's.  I'm glad she's only 5 min. away, too.  She liked the dress but was not too keen on one of the two baby flower headbands--made especially in a different, more Smore Couture, way so to not be the same as the ones at Relics.  She also said I owed her another flower clip in trade for some trim (that she got free!)  We're a bit mercenary, aren't we?  I am too, at times but today it kind of got to me.  I'd already been around town in the middle of the day in this heat.  Yep, I'm glad to be home for the evening.  Bill's mowing!!! yes, in the heat.  I sometimes wonder if he just does this to challenge himself--just to see if he can do it without dropping over.  He's many times been to the "dropping over" stage by pushing himself too much.  On top of that, the grass is drying out, not growing well,  it's JULY!  Oh, well, I've long since stopped griping...to him but in my little brain the gripe goes on.  It doesn't do any good, though.  I just gave him some ice water and wished him well.  I'll have a piece of lemon meringe (sp) pie waiting when he's done--maybe even before supper.  Speaking of...I need to be thinking about that.  Leftovers sound good to me. Yep.

Now For a Cup of Coffee

...and a few minutes for me.
Very busy week.  So glad I'm not in OH with the cooking team.  C was bemoaning the fact that she was already tired and it was just Sun afternoon.  They have all week left.  I noticed in the planning of the kit. team that they were attempting to do WAY too much extra.  Fixing two meals a day for 200 people is totally enough but someone was suggesting little niceities for the kids and special snacks at 10:00 p.m. after worship.  I don't know who but they were going to do it.  I'm afraid if I hadn't told them earlier that I was not going, hearing of these extras would have done me in.  With less than two weeks since our church mission trip, I knew I would not be able to do it well.  I could have done it if I just had to but they had 8 people going so that's enough to handle the job (don't know about the extra things they're planning.)

Speaking of the last two weeks, last week I slept from 8-10 hours every night.  I think I'm getting caught up from the week before VBS, VBS week and mission trip--not even mentioning the visit from the kids just after the trip and M's trauma management of putting her husband in a nursing home.  She depended on me that first week.  I'm glad I didn't have anything planned that week.  I was only able to accomplish a few things on my Create List.  More creating was done last week because she had some extra travel help.  I'm taking her today, staying for lunch and then bringing her home.  R is actually improving even though he asks her to take him home everyday.  L was visiting on Fri and Sat, went to visit him and noticed the improvement.  He encouraged his dad to continue his exercise and socialization--that they were good for him.  I don't think that will pacify R but maybe it did.  I've told M that this is permanent.  She seems to forget why he's there--she just can't take care of him at home anymore.  Things look different from a different perspective.  L talked to her about moving out there to adjacent housing but the cost is astronomical and there are already 4 condos for sale in her building alone.  Selling one more would have to take a miracle.  Not that God's not in that business.  I've seen greater miracles in my lifetime.

I have to create a dress(es) for SC, A's request.  I'm not a good seamstress and the time it takes to plan and adjust and execute it in the right way is more than I get for the dress--though I do enjoy recreating existing clothing, making new out of old gives me pleasure. 

When I was delivering the items to Relics Sat. the shop owner asked me if I could make a little felt flower like the one he had there.  I looked and said I could, went home, drew a template, cut out the felt pieces and made the flower.  My felt is not the same texture, much more fluffy, but they turned out amazingly close to the original.  Is it plagerism when I make my own pattern?  I'm not selling it in the same on-line shop but in a small, cozy little shop in Averyville, IL.  Artists say that techniques can be shared.  Put your own touch on it and go for it.  Yes, mine is different--felt, size, decorations, stitching, ribbon.  Ok, I've talked myself into it.  They're going there this week.  He also mentioned another piece, a wedding headpiece.  Yes, I can make that, too, I think.  I'll try this week and post my results on my other blog.

Three grandboy's birthdays within ten days this month--one was 16 yesterday.  Where does the time go?  The others are 10 and 13 on the 20th and 27th.  Needless to say, on top of everything else, I've had some birthday shopping going on, too.  Must create for an hour before my M/R visit.  Ta-ta for now.

So Many Things To Do

After the kids left I helped M for the next two days by taking her to see R in "the home."  I didn't mind helping and was glad I had the week off to do so.  I spent much time after each visit just visiting with her.  Lonely is not a good place to be.  Fortunately, that was only Tues and Wed and others stepped in to help after that.
I was able to get my house back in semi-shape and things organized enough for me to see what I needed to do.  Three birthdays are coming up--Grandboys--so I started shopping on line.  My son gave me a big hint for one but the price was so high on eBay that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to afford it--Yeah, got it at Target for 40% off the eBay price!  I also got an idea for the oldest--money.  How could he not like that?  For the youngest one of the bunch I bought Nerf guns.  That's always a hit and they always need them--comes with two shirts and two goggles, two guns and a bunch of squishy ammo.

I'm swamped with projects.  Here's a list I made last weekend. (> = in progress, * = completed, 0 = still a dream.)

Relics:
feather dangle *
feather earrings *
baby flower headbands *
pearl crocheted bracelets*

RE-:
Rolled roses headbands >
Fall Fabric Embroidered domino necklaces 0

Smore Couture:
Bl' Hankies 0
Dress from Tablecloth 0
Blue sparkle loose double flower clip *
silk olive dress remake 0
boa dress >
dress from paisley slip*

Individuals:
gray flower -Laura >
Med. blue flower clip - Amy *
Red apron - Amy *
separate trims - Amy *
Photo Album - Mariam 0
Hot Pink earrings - Doris T. *
(Not a lot of *'s on that list--Update pending.)

I did get all the wedding stuff to Laura, paid, plus a tip.  She said she'd be glad to recommend me to her friends and since there are seven bridesmaids, I might get some business from them.

Now, why is it that some days I can work with a needle and thread and some days I can't?

Got my new, as of Christmas!!, sewing machine up and running yesterday.  No reverse on the other one was driving me crazy and I need it a lot in the next few weeks.

Off to Red Hats today--life's little "have-to."  A minister's wife must socialize regardless of personal desire--at times.  At least I get to eat out.  Will work on some more stuff this afternoon--looking forward to it:+)

Family

My family's gone home.
toys to pick up
bathrooms to clean
floors to sweep and vacuum
bed linens to wash
bathrooms to clean
kitchen to reorganize
coffee to drink in silence
What shall I do first?
Guess I'll have to pick the lesser of evils here.
It was fun, though.

Great But Tiring

VBS every day--worship leader next year?  Hmmm.
Good time? yes
Tiring? yes
Kids have fun? yes
Anything else done? not much
Now I can rest? No

Onward and upward.  Church missions calls.

Ugh-Early Day

Woke up at 3:30
Couldn't go back to sleep thinking about VBS stuff
Got up with Bill at 4:50 (He had to go to the hospital-DD's surgery)
Coffee
Practiced VBS music using the lyric sheets I worked up yesterday
hurt my neck and upper back--didn't warm up first
two cups of coffee, breakfast, tylenol and a 45 nap later-neck better
Got ready for funeral after encouraging Jennie for 30 min with her very bad hives
Waiting for lift to funeral-what a happy day so far.  At least my neck is a little better.
Hoping to practice the last six sessions of VBS this afternoon.

Old Age--Not For the Faint of Heart

My sister, age 62, is doing well after having a pacemaker inserted yesterday.  She expects to go home today--Praise God--no blockage and a strong heart, according to her doctors!  One more round for her!

My friends went to the doctors yesterday and last week and M didn't make 3-month appts. for him--thinking he'll be somewhere else in that length of time.  Positive and negative thoughts are all jumbled in her mind.  When he's good, he's not as good as he was just one month ago; when he's bad he's very bad and near calling an ambulance.  Such turmoil for one in her 80's.  We went through this with my Mom and Dad and it's grueling.  For me, all I can do it empathize and pray for her and give her encouragement in the process.  My other friend, the cancer "survivor"--to use the term loosely, is hanging in there with headaches and weakness and general feeling of worthlessness.  It's so sad to see a bank executive realize she's not capable to even balance her checkbook anymore.  I keep telling her, "Now, you're normal.  I was never able to balance my checkbook."  It doesn't seem to help her, hmmm. 

Slept late today, 7:15
talked to sister, Peg, on the phone
talked to Jennie who is down with very bad hives and we can't go help her out with her children-Booooo
ate breakfast, got ready
went to WalMart for VBS stuff
took pics of a necklace I made and wore Sun Night and Mon
Took pics of pandas I made and put on sallylsmith.blogspot
Did dishes
put away stuff
did this and now ready for a cup of coffee and making posters of lyrics for VBS

Life is Short

Got a call yesterday from my sister that my other sister is in the hospital after a routine check-up.  She'd been feeling weakness in her legs and an over-all awful feeling.  They were to put in a pace-maker this morning early and possibly stints if they detect any blockages.  I haven't heard yet.  Just another reminder that life is short and precious.  Now, I must go walk.

Wedding Day

Mail Etsy sale
Study VBS stuff
Possibly Moss Ave sale
Practice music
Time music
Get ready
Wedding
Reception?  Can't remember if we said yes or no.  I hate when I do that.
Then home--Ahhhh.

Busy, Busy

Took pics of things I did yesterday
Put two items on EBay last night and today
Taking friend to doctor then to lunch today
Must get music ready for rehearsal for a wedding this evening
Must take new items to Amy's
Must get ready now to do the above

Catching Up Again

"Catching up" is a term I seem to use often.  "Cooked" for church yesterday which takes most of my day.  Six and seven o'clock rehearsals do me in normally but when I cook too, I'm exhausted by 8:00.  Supposed to go to Red Hats today, an hour's drive away just to eat.  I'm not wanting to go and it's raining to boot.  I don't think I'd get static from M, whom I am taking, because she doesn't really like to go.  I don't either but it's the only time I get to socialize with that age group (mostly older than I) from my church.  As a pastor's wife, I do things I really don't want to do sometimes. 
Ding--new thought.  When I hurry I usually drop things, hit myself, make mistakes and generally make a mess of things.  I did this yesterday trying to hurry to get things to Amy's.  I wanted to finish a flower and I'd put on the pin and was adding the hair clip on the back so it would be versatile when I noticed that I'd sewn down the straight part of the pin--Yikes!  What now--cut the thread, resew the pin--more time. Ugh.  I was so angry at myself that I threw the flower and the scissors.  Luckily I only knocked over the salt and pepper shakers and the scissors fell to the floor instead of imbeding themselves in my dry wall--that would be hard to explain to Bill.  Temper, temper, Sally.  That's been my life's nemesis.

Onward and Upward

I met with the bride and she requested three headpieces, two bracelets, two brooches and a pair of earrings.  Now to find all the supplies I'll need and get started.  The wedding is July 30 but I'm super busy the last two weeks in June and she's gone on vacation the week before her wedding (probably not a good idea on her part, but we all know the pressure families can make on a person.)  That means I have to complete all of it before the first full week of July (meaning, for me the next two weeks.)  I've started the flowers but need her approval on the first before I continue.  I've not made one exactly like she wanted before so I had to experiment which means more time.  Ah, time.  Life's little conundrum.

Hold On To Your Hats!

Today starts the "Run to the Finish"--June 2011.  I begin with cleaning my house for small group tonight, meeting with a girl to make rose headbands for her wedding, finishing rose headbands to take to Relics (where I will pick up money for past sales) plus the other usuals of being the wife of a minister.  I spent the weekend eating--seems like--taking the visiting pastor and wife out to lunch and dinner the last two days so not much got done, only a few flowers and usual housework.  Now exercise and diet is necessary if I'm going to stay in my present clothes.  Must get ready for the day.

When Things Are Not Your Own

Visiting family can be an exercise in patience.  Because I wouldn't do things this way or that sometimes puts me in jeopardy of being too insistent and that doesn't bode well.  Quiet is a good thing; stepping back is another good thing.  Let them live and you coast. OK?

Taking the Long Route

O.K., finally we got away.  The last couple of days of last week were chock full of activity and stress.  M wanted to see another retirement/skilled care facility, which we did.  She's about reached her limit and agreed to have her husband evaluated today.  Haven't talked with her yet.  They had a tough weekend with R sleeping almost steadily from Fri. afternoon to Sun noon.  He'd only had spoons of water, really not enough to keep him hydrated, and no food until Sun when he was actually roused by friends who brought dinner.  Nothing against M, however, she tried.  I wonder if he just needs more stimulation.  More on that story later.
I have basically nothing to show creative-wise for the last week.  I did spend 6 hours Sat. rolling fabric for rolled roses headbands.  I've sold 10 of 13 I took to Re and Relics Mar. 21.  Not bad.  I'm now 60% on typing my VBS session material.  I also listened to my VBS DVD and did the motions.  I also packed for this week.  We're spending a few precious days with some of our grandchildren.  We have some roof work to do from damage done during the last big wind storm there.
Sunday was good and the communion service was different but enjoyable.  I'd like to do it that way again--deacons serving from different tables across the front of the sanctuary.
Now, to explain the title:  When driving the grands back for naps after being with their other grandma while Mom and Dad helped B fix the roof, I missed my turn which would have been only another 15 home.  Yep, I went 20 mi. out of the way thinking that my turn was coming up any time.  That, of course, cost me about 45 min. more time tagged to the trip.  We were 45 min. late getting into bed for naps once I had finally backtracked and found the right route.  Ugh. I hate being wrong and more than that, I hate confessing that I was wrong.  Well, they're sleeping now and will probably sleep late which will upset their mother, who is a stickler for schedules.  Now to figure what to make for supper.  Maybe I can redeem myself  with a good one.

Just Another Day

It rained yesterday and I decided it wasn't a good day to call D for lunch.  I need to call and check on her but she never answered her phone--only has cell, no land line--maybe today but it's supposed to rain all day too.  M is supposed to call me about seeing another nursing facility so maybe I'll need to go with her today instead.
Wed. was a good day but I'm having to think hard about what I did--basically nothing of eternal value.  I spent a hour washing lettuce and spinach from our garden that Bill the Farmer brought in.  He loves that garden and so do I.  We had a great salad from it--I added to the greens: strawberries, apples, toasted cashews I still have from the Africa trip, cheese and turkey bacon.  It was great if I do say so myself.  Bill loves my "fruited salads."  As I'm thinking, I remember what else I did yesterday: cleaning and reorganized my closet and drawers, did more work on a lingering journal started moons ago, typed a session for VBS, listed another thing on Etsy, took photos of more items for Etsy then went to church.  I ate supper (and am so glad that I don't have to fix it every week but can go to church to eat on Weds), had practice with Jeff for 8:00 services for June and then practice for choir for the 10:45 services.  I'm always tired after that mental workout--too bad that doesn't burn calories like physical exercise.  It's just as exhausting.  Bill and I watched the finale of American Idol--down to two children, both great singers and we didn't care who won. Bed was welcomed.
Valuable: practices for services.

Full Days

The last few days have been very full.  I've wanted to feel like I'm not wasting my life so I'm determined to be productive.  Sunday, of course, is always full.  I started the day baking bread started two days before but the oven got turned off accidentally (thank you, Bill for helping) so I had to restart it and rebake the bread.  Fortunately I had started it very early--meaning 5:20.  I was only 10 minutes late leaving for early morning rehearsal at church.  Bill opened most of the doors inside and turned on most of the lights as well (usually my job while he parks the car, gets out the music and sets up the drum set).  I was exactly on time for rehearsal after having made coffee for us for after rehearsal.  I had a very bad one though.  It didn't seem like Bill and I were on the same page, so to speak, at all.  He made mistakes and I did too--all in all, not a very good time.  I was having trouble listening to the sermon so it was good that I heard it twice.  At home we had a quick leftover lunch and both of us hit the hay immediately afterward.  We had to go to a graduation party for our Minister of Youth's daughter, I had to go from there to a VBS meeting and then we had evening service where Bill lead music and I played the piano (I had to practice the offertory between VBS and service.)  We didn't watch very much tv that evening--too tired.

Yesterday I cleaned the house after getting up about 6:00.  We had small group at our house that evening.  At 11:00 I was to take my friend, M, to see a retirement home for her husband.  It's one of 4 she's viewed in the past couple of weeks.  It's very difficult for her since she really thought she was going to be able to care for him herself.  She's had in-home care 5 days a week during the day that has helped her get away occasionally (one S or two?)  but she has trouble moving him and he is becoming more and more unmoveable.  She's almost to the desperate stage now.  She loved the place, very beautiful and very organized and clean.  The more extensive care section was the cleanest one I've ever seen, however, it is not a skilled care facility.  I'm afraid after they assess his health status she may be surprised to learn that he does not even qualify for that facility.  She was to talk to her son about what to do and I was to get back to her today and didn't.  I'll call tomorrow morning.  Small group was great even though I didn't get home until 4:45 and it was at 6:30 and I still had some cleaning to do.  Bill helped though and we got it done.  The group had its best discussion ever.

Today was basically a Find Birthday Presents for Caleb Day.  I had to search for a couple of items he requested and found only one in town.  The other I had to order online.  I had a couple of others and just had to fill the rest of the package with candy--as I always do for 7 kids.  I got it done and mailed.  I've kept the house cleaned and picked up today.  I love it clean but hate doing it.  I put some Etsy stuff on tonight, typed my second of ten VBS sessions and cruised through flickr while Bill mowed the lawn.  We had leftovers again--good, though--ribs from SmoKing.  Yum.  Compliments of M who took us both out to lunch yesterday.  We watched a little tv and then Bill was in bed early and I'm doing this.   Yes, I lead a quiet life.  I like it that way.  It makes me nervous thinking about how I have to lead 200 kids and workers in VBS for two sessions a day.  I actually have to put on my "actor" mode--a totally different person than I am.  I make it work with God's help.  Thinking that one person may be saved in VBS is worth the effort--I keep telling myself.

Just Saturday

I was up a little ish after 5 this morning but we'd gone to bed at 9:25; I checked.  I was rested but had been awakened by Bill's laptop announcement, "Virus Database Has Been Updated!"--a lovely arousal, I must say.  I went to dailybible.com to view the graphic Bible verses of the past month (while drinking my usual Breakfast Blend.)  I love the connection some of the photos have with the scriptures.  I'm caught up now until a few days have gone by and then I'll remember to check them again.  I paid bills, got an Etsy order ready to send, walked with Bill, ate breakfast and then got ready for the day.  I went to the P.O. to drop off the bills and Etsy and stopped at a yard sale on the way home--my kind o morning.  Reverie was broken when our neighbor girl came by and we went to Adopt-A-Block on the South Side.  I had previously seen a few droplets and was hoping we would have enough to cancel--not so.  We went and it was ok.  Though my heart wasn't in it, it was a good thing for our little friend, a new Christian, to learn to live like Jesus (however, Jesus would have relished this; why didn't I?)  Home.  Bill mowing; I slept.  I know how to exercise.  A deep tiredness invaded my body and I couldn't help it.  We ate salmon salad for a quick lunch and Bill was back at it.  He mowed the whole lawn today!  He's almost 100% since his January radiation treatments.  He was so glad that he was able to help on a roof the last two days, too.  This man loves work.   (Could I have a little of that, too?)  This afternoon he slept and I--well, I did this plus I washed lettuce, filled the dishwasher and fixed him a Shirley Temple cocktail. We mellowed together a while.

Hurry Up and Stop

Seems like that's what I've been doing the last three days.  Wed and Thurs were end-of-the-year preschool programs and since I'm the music teacher, the program, of course, was musical.  They did a great job and I was proud of them.  It's my last, though.  No more preschoolers--here, at least.  I do have a number of preschool grandchildren that will keep me busy in the next few years, I hope. 
Wed. after school I went to lunch with Deena, Cancer Survivor Supreme.  She's doing pretty well regardless of tumors that have popped up since her WHOLE BRAIN RADIATION!!!  I know, I can't believe that she does so well after that.  She gets upset with herself because she used to work at a bank and now she can't even balance her own checkbook.  She gets words mixed up and has a little trouble thinking things through but I tell her, "Now, you're just like me."  I'm not sure that pacifies her.  Turns out our day was a little longer than expected.  Her grandson broke his leg at school badly enough that he has to have surgery and she wanted to get him a present to keep him busy.  We shopped and he helped us find what he wanted via his electronic game!  Go figure that one.  Took her home, then to church.  I was exhausted and prayed for God to play the piano for me.  He did and I'm thankful.  Home felt good.
Thurs:  The second preschool program, luncheon with the Preschool teachers to celebrate a couple of summer birthdays, to the store for our church secretary who overcommitted (just helping her out), to the church to deliver the food to her and help a little in prep for the meal she said she'd make for her small group that night (already 3:30).  She was supposed to have pre-op info on her daughter for her upcoming surgery on Monday (tonsils, adnoids and tubes), but she wasn't given the correct info sheet and had to arrange to have it done--that day!  Haven't talked to her today to see how it went.
Fri.  Hair cut.  Why am I so tired.  All I wanted to do this morning when I woke up about 6:00 was to sleep on.  Got up anyway, devotions, coffee, flickr, email, got ready and hair cut.  Then to M's to pick up some food I left at her house on Tues. and more coffee and chat--things we both needed.  What else do I have to do today?  I did some yard saleing--happy with the jewelry I got and some things I hope to resell.  Neighbor girl came back today and I had finished the shirt I was working on for her.  I didn't push myself to finish the shorts, though.  I'm thinking I need to gel.  Why do I feel worthless? Cause my house is a wreck and I don't care--enough to clean it, anyway.  Maybe tomorrow afternoon.  Adopt-a-block is tomorrow morning.  I'm praying for rain and God's praying I help someone else--maybe.  Another cup of coffee with help me, I sure.  And, of course, there's the ever-looming VBS I haven't completed --Hmmm.

Another Day Another Dollar

Yesterday, like the day before I walked with Bill in the morning--about a mile--just to exercise.  I went to the post office to mail the b'day pkg to Ian and mail some bills, I delivered flowers and two shirts to Amy's and she wanted to talk so I stayed about 30 min. longer.  I went to M's, took her to the grocery store, came back to unload, went to lunch (she pays because I drive, plus she gives me extra money sometimes at the end of a long day), went to get her hair cut, then home to clean up the kitchen, dump garbage, check emails.  I also posted on slssite.  E came over, the little 5th grader from next door.  She wanted to know what my dress form was, I told her, put a dress on it to show her.  She wound up trying on a lot of the partial pieces of dresses and slips I use in my flower and shirt making and came to the pile of jeans clothes I'm working on.  She tried them on and they all fit and I agreed to finish them for her.  She says she doesn't have anything to wear to church --new Christian who's been coming for a few months.  I believe her because she shows up in long pants and a tshirt and not a good one.  Her parents just got divorced, Mom left to another state and she's Mom-lonely.  She said, " Since Mom's gone and she doesn't like deer meat, you could make us some of that soup, like when we moved in." (Hint, hint) I asked her what she had for supper the last few days and she said, Pizza for the last two weeks.  I don't think Dad's too concerned for their health or his.  It's also way easier to just buy pizza.  I'll have to inform him that he can buy ready-made food that is healthy--plus, I'll probably make that soup as well.  She came over, hoping that Bill was going to church (did last week for a special violin recital for Suzuki group and took her).  She said she loves going to church.  She was a case, though, pestering Bill and running up and down the stairs to the balconey while he was setting up.  He came home, pestered and put out and puffing, saying he was glad they didn't have to stay longer than the setup.  I feel sorry for the girls and Dad's not much of a nurturer--physically or spiritually, though he confesses to have grown up in the church--doesn't make you a Christian.  I made supper after she left--leftovers, just what I had planned and enough for just Bill and me--too bad I hadn't planned a whole meal. After supper I cleaned up, ran the dishwasher, made loaves from the bread dough that had been rising all day and Bill and I sat on the couch and watched a tivoed show, bath and bed.  Bill had wanted to just mow the lawn, that needed it desperately, but E's Dad was waiting to talk to Bill and, of course, they talked.  Bill excused himself and said he just had to mow.  (E's Dad goes to work at 6:00 and comes home at 2:00.  At least, he's there when the kids get home.)
Valueable :  Talking to E, helping M, talking to Bill

It's About Time

I'm going to try this as a journal about what I do everyday.  I want to see if I do anything of value and check on myself--to be accountable to myself and God. 
Today I made eight layered flowers from chiffon:  cut, seared,sewed beads, adhered to hair clips/barrettes, carded and priced.
I went to the luncheon for the Preschool teachers from Woodland--my last year.  We received beautiful impatiens to replant.  I had 1/2 turkey/cheese sandwich and creamed rotinini/pork/spicy soup and coffee.  Good time.  Staff, Committee members and Preschool staff were invited.  All the preschool staff came : Marcie, Jill, Mary, Nancy, Jolene, Brittany and me.  Staff: Joel, Bill, Mark, Stephanie, Rick and me. Committee: Chuck, Kay and me.  Yep, I just realized that I'm all three.
I took pictures of two pieces of jewelry, edited them, listed them on Etsy tonight while Bill was at Deacon's meeting.  I had made leftover turkey and gravy, new mashed potatoes and green beans and garlic bread for supper while Bill mowed for a half hour.
I went to WalMart after the luncheon, finished up buying birthday for Ian, wrapped his gifts and packaged them all.  Payed two bills. Swept the kitchen, filled the dishwasher and ran it, cleaned up after supper and filled the dishwasher.  Looked at email, facebook and flickr.
That's about it for today.
Most valued: presents for Ian, talking to Jennie, facebooking Brett, talking with Bill and flirting with him at the luncheon.  Good day.